


What Do I Have to Do?

by Elena78



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst, Challenge Accepted, Community: Strictly Dramione, F/M, Inspired by Music, Romance, Sexual Content, Stabbing Westward, request
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:00:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elena78/pseuds/Elena78
Summary: Harry has just defeated Voldemort and everyone is piecing their lives back together. Hermione, however, cant get back on her feet, till she can speak to Draco.Draco must face the consequences of his actions, but is terrified to reveal the truth. Hermione helped him once before, but will she do it again?Story inspired by Stabbing Westward's songs: "What Do I Have to Do" and "Shame", is based on some Book Canon events.





	What Do I Have to Do?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dorkette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkette/gifts).



> Story, Story Title and First Chapter Title inspired by Stabbing Westward's songs of the same names.
> 
> This story was a request by Dorkette in the Strictly Dramione FB community and is based on the two songs mentioned, and whatever comes to mind. I have never heard of the band or songs before, but once I listened, the following came to mind. I'm not sure if this will go where Dorkette wanted, but I'm going to have fun and see where I end up. I hope she likes it.
> 
> I have based some of this story on Canon events, but may have stretched the timeline.

Hermione watched as Ron left with Harry to place the Elder Wand back in Dumbledore’s Tomb. She knew Harry needed to do it straight away while everyone was distracted, but there was something she needed to do and knew that this was her perfect moment.

Hermione made her way back down to the Great Hall. She closed her eyes against the sight and smell of the blood, but it had been far too long since she had spoken to Draco and her heart pounded in her chest. The pain she felt was worse than the battle she just fought in, because underneath her skin, her blood burned. It craved for his touch, it wanted to break free of her veins when she remembered how he had to watch her torture, unable to rescue her.

Even just a few hours ago in the Room of Requirement, where their whole story began, every instinct she had was to go to him. She couldn’t fight him anymore, but she had to. No one could know about them. No one could know how she had inadvertently helped him succeed in his task. It took all of her will to look Harry and Ron in the eyes and lie to them. Would Ron hate her because of the attack on Bill?

She lost track of him after they saw him from under the safety of the cloak. They were on their way to find Voldemort to kill Nagini and she couldn’t do anything when Ron had punched him, so she put it out of her mind and kept going. But once Harry defeated Voldemort, she saw him. He was with his parents who looked nervous. She wanted to run to him but knew that she couldn’t. She had a chance now, a chance to pull him aside.

As she re-entered the hall it didn’t take long to find him. She walked past the Malfoy’s knowing that he saw her, and she exited the hall through the Teachers entrance. She waited and after a few moments, he was there. Draco stared at her but kept his distance. His face expressionless making the pain she felt sting.

His eyes remained cold and she longed to see the warmth in them that she had witnessed before. But so much has happened since then and she wondered if it was just a dream. Had he felt anything for her at all?

“Please?” She said, her eyes pooling with tears.

He remained motionless and emotionless, and everything inside Hermione was pleading with him. She just needed a sign or any hint that she meant something to him. She needed to know that her betrayal was worth it, that the sweet words he whispered in her ears, the promised life he offered her was true.

“Draco,” she let out a sob, her tears falling down her face. “I…” She had stepped forward as she spoke, but Draco flinched, taking a step back. Hermione’s heart shattered in that moment. She couldn’t breathe and she felt bile rise in her throat. Finally, she saw something in that moment. But it was contempt, disgust, the way he used to look at her.

She clutched at her mouth, willing the contents of her stomach to stay put. Somewhere in the distance, she heard his name being called. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and left her standing there.

Hermione dropped to the ground. She finally allowed herself to cry. She couldn’t stop the pain as it took over her body. How could he just ignore her? How could he ignore her obvious pain, why deny her? Now that the war was over, was she still just a… _Mudblood_? She wanted to hate him, she wanted to be angry, but nothing penetrated through the pain. She covered her eyes, but it didn’t stop her memories from flooding back.

_She was curled up beside him, his arm around her holding her naked body close. He kissed the top of her head softly as his fingers traced circles around her arm._

_“What will happen tomorrow?” She knew she shouldn’t have asked, but she needed to hear it from him._

_She heard his sharp intake of breath, but he let it out in soft sigh. “I promise you, Hermione, that I will do my best to not hurt anyone.”_

_She smiled and moved to look at him. His white-blond hair was messed, but for the first time in weeks, his cheeks held colour and he smiled back at her. “When will we be together again, like this?”_

_Draco’s smile faded. “I don’t know,” he leaned forward, his lips inches from hers. “We’re together now.”_

_She closed the gap, taking his lips with hers. Hermione wanted this moment to last forever and she moved to straddle him, never breaking their kiss. She kissed him with a passion she had never knew existed. Even with all the books she read, nothing had prepared her for what she was feeling._

_Draco pulled her hips down against his hardness and she instinctively rocked herself against him. She heard him let out a deep, animalistic growl and whimpered against his lips. The way he responded to her, the way his hands caressed her so softly, or how he only used his fingertips over her skin made her feel like she was on fire. Every nerve she had tingled, she could hear her pulse thump in her ears, and she felt like she was melting. Her body fit perfectly against his and she moved slightly forward, her hard nipples tickled against his chest causing her to throb deep within._

_He finally pulled back, breaking their kiss. His eyes glazed with lust but there was a softness to them that she had never noticed before. He held her stare as she felt him move them, he guided himself into her, allowing her to slowly lower herself. Once she was seated with him firmly in place, he held her there for a moment._

_Hermione gasped. His look had completely changed. Where lust looked back at her previously, it was replaced with despair. He was scared. Scared of what was to come. Scared for his family. Scared he was never going to feel this again._

_She didn’t exactly know what she was doing. This was all new to her, but she wanted to take control. She wanted to show Draco she was on his side, that right now, he had nothing to fear. She was his. He had something to look forward to, to hold onto when things got too dark._

_Hermione moved slightly above him, feeling him slide within her. She leaned down, licking and nibbling at his bottom lip before taking his lips with hers. Her kiss was softer this time, allowing them both time to savour the moment. His lounge gently massaging hers which sent surges of energy down to their connected bodies._

_His hands remained on her hips and she moved them with hers, sliding them up to cup her breasts. She caught her breath in her throat and had to pull out of the kiss as his thumbs circled around her nipples. Hermione could feel herself throbbing, her walls slick with her arousal._

_“Draco,” she whispered his name as she leaned back her hands resting on his thighs as she rocked her body faster._

_She let out a moan as she felt his hot mouth on her right breast and her body broke out in a sheen of sweat. She could feel the heat spread from between her thighs all the way up to her cheeks. Draco’s left hand moved between their bodies, his fingers finding her hardened nub. Hermione wanted more, but she kept in her mind that this was for him, so she kept her pace even, allowing him to devour her. The heat was simmering beneath her skin and she felt a trickle of sweat slide down between her breast. Draco’s fingers moved in perfect rhythm to her hips as his mouth licked, nibbled, and suckled at her breasts. Hermione felt it in her belly first, her muscles trembling as her body gave in to Draco’s ministrations._

_She felt herself tighten around him as her body trembled and convulsed. She was only acutely aware of the long moan she released as Draco’s fingers moved faster as she rode him and the waves of her climax. When Hermione began feeling the fog lift from her head, she pushed herself up. Her body still trembling, her walls still throbbing against his firmness that was still buried deep inside her._

_Draco remained still but brought her lips back to his. He let her catch her breath before embracing her, manoeuvring their bodies so she was now beneath him. He kissed her again, as he moved her hands up with his, their fingers laced together. He held her there as his hips began to move. Hermione’s legs moved up, accommodating him as he thrust harder, deeper, and faster._

_She smiled as she watched his face. He was concentrating, his eyes closed, but relaxed. His breathing becoming faster as his own need built within him. His hands grasped hers more firmly, sliding them above her head. She tightened her grip on him as he rocked their bodies in a fast rhythm his head dipped down into her shoulder, lightly nibbling at her skin. He moaned into her hair as he finally found his release, his body tightened as his hips firmly pressed into hers._

_Draco kissed her shoulder and she could feel a smile on his lips, and he chuckled, trailing a kiss up her chin to her lips. She couldn’t help but smile back, his face flushed, and his hair tickled her face._

_As Draco regained his breath, he rolled off onto his back, releasing his hold on her hands. Hermione immediately felt the loss of him. It was an empty feeling and as the cool air of the Room of Requirement drifted across her body, her smile faded._

_She looked over at Draco, his eyes were closed, and he looked at peace, as if he was drifting off to sleep. She slipped quietly out of the bed, her legs trembling as she gathered her clothes and dressed. She felt the first tear drop from her eyes as she looked back at Draco’s sleeping form. Hermione left him there and made her way back to Gryffindor tower. She realised as she watched Draco sleep that she wanted him again, wanted his touch, his kisses, his body filling hers. She was frightened of it. She felt so full and complete that when he was gone, the loss was just as intense._

_She was falling for him. Falling for the boy that was tasked to kill Dumbledore._

That was the last time they had been together. So much had happened since then. What if the looks he gave her meant nothing? What if she was just an escape for him? What if he just used her to help him with the cabinet?

Hermione took a few minutes to dry her eyes and calm herself. She desperately needed to talk to him, to find out the truth. Every waking moment without his touch and without his lips killed her. It was as if a part of her was dying each day. She fought back another round of tear as she couldn’t believe that he was right there, and he walked away. He left her with nothing and that burned a hole in her heart.

 

~~*~~

It had been three days since the Battle of Hogwarts. Hermione was back at the Burrow and sleeping in Ginny’s room. Molly and Arthur were busy with the Ministry and preparing for Fred’s funeral. George hadn’t come out of his room since they had returned, and Percy tried to stay out of everyone’s way. Harry was also busy with the Ministry and Ron had taken to going with Harry every day. When the boys returned, Hermione would eat dinner and retreat to Ginny’s room.

Hermione’s guilt had gotten the best of her. She loved Ron, he was one of her best friends. The kisses that they shared were real and she meant them. But he didn’t ignite the flame with her, not like Draco had. Hermione felt safe and protected with Ron, but she didn’t feel the fiery passion, desire, and the want that Draco elicited from her.

After breakfast, Hermione went for a walk in the gardens of the Burrow. At some point, someone had cleared the grass and she could roughly make out where the pond was and headed for it. She sat down and found some pebbles nearby, making them skip across the water. She missed who she was before Draco. Life was easier and clearer. Now, she had no clear sight of her future. Every day felt like her last on earth. All she could see was Draco retreating, walking away from her and out of her life. She doesn’t even recognise the girl she had become. The one who lies to her best friends, who helped the enemy, who gave herself to him so willingly.

Her cheeks burned and she took deep breaths to hold back her tears. Picking up another pebble, she skipped it across the water.

“You’re a hard girl to find these days.”

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath in as she heard Ron’s voice. Standing up, she turned to face him. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re avoiding me.”

Hermione nodded and fidgeted with the sleeve of her jacket. “I just needed some time.”

Ron looked at her, the sadness he felt was evident on his face, but his voice reflected something different. “It’s OK, you know.” He shrugged. “I get it.”

“You do?” Hermione was surprised.

“Hermione, we’re best friends. We lived in the same dormitories for six years.” Ron said as he stepped closer to her. “I heard the rumours of you sneaking out at night.”

“There were rumours?” Hermione’s brows lifted at this news. She thought the girls would come to her first before talking to anyone else. They usually wanted all the gossip before anyone else.

Ron laughed, which surprised Hermione even more. “Yeah. At first I didn’t believe them because it’s not like you to sneak out.” Ron’s smile faded. “But it clicked just recently.” Ron hesitated but found his voice again. “Do I know him?”

Hermione nodded.

The silence stretched between them as neither of them knew what to say, but finally Ron let out a long sigh. “Look, Hermione, I love you. I think I always have,” his face was almost as red as his hair as he made his confession. “But we have a chance now…I mean…not as in us,” he motioned between them. “But I mean, like, everyone. We have this wonderful chance at life with no darkness surrounding us. Maybe we’re supposed to, you know, explore and enjoy life now.”

“What are you trying to say, Ron?”

“I’m saying that maybe you need to sort some stuff out.”

Hermione smiled and flung her arms around Ron. “Thank you.”

 

Later that evening as Hermione was getting ready for bed, she could tell that Ginny wanted to talk, so she got settled and patiently waited for her red headed friend.

“So, Ron told us about you both.” Ginny said. “Who is he?”

Hermione struggled to answer. She opened her mouth to speak but closed again. She was too afraid to admit the truth.

“Hermione,” Ginny said as she moved to sit beside her friend. “Voldemort is gone. Out biggest threat is gone forever. Nothing you can say to me now could ever be as bad as Voldemort.”

Fresh tears fell from Hermione eyes as she growled in frustration. “I just need the damn tears to stop!”

With a swish of her wand, tissues appeared beside Hermione and Ginny smiled. “Out with it.”

Sighing and wiping away her tears, Hermione looked at Ginny, here fear growing with every beat of her heart. “I think I am in love with Draco Malfoy.”

Whatever Ginny had in mind, she obviously wasn’t thinking this because she laughed. Ginny’s hands flew over her mouth as she giggled. “You can’t be serious?”

“I help him with the Vanishing Cabinet.”

Ginny’s laughter died down immediately. “You what?”

“I didn’t know the extent of it all back then. But I knew that Harry was hell bent on finding out what Draco was up to. One night, a saw Dobby and Kreacher in Hogwarts, so I followed them. Draco had been going into the Room of Requirement and it took me a few tries, but I was finally able to enter to find him.”

Hermione paused as her fear turned into complete sadness. “Draco wasn’t himself. He was pale and thin and in so much pain.” Hermine turned to Ginny. “I haven’t seen anyone in that much pain since Harry lost Sirius.”

Ginny took Hermione’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Go on.”

“I watched him over a few nights, his anguish was too much to bear. I don’t even know why, but I felt like I just had to help him. So, I researched what I could about the cabinet and returned a few days later. He was sitting on the ground, his back against the cabinet, with his head buried in his hands. I could hear his muffled cry and my heart broke for him.” Hermione sighed, closed her eyes as the memory flooded back.

_“Draco,” she whispered, too afraid to speak louder._

_Draco’s head whipped up and he scrambled to his feet, his wand pointed at her. “What the fuck are you doing here?”_

_Hermione remained calm despite the wand pointed at her. She knew Draco’s magical abilities were not as good as hers. “I thought this might help you.” She said, holding out a book to him._

_“Did Potter put you up to this? Well, you can tell him that nothing can stop what’s about to come.”_

_“Harry doesn’t know I’m here. No one does.”_

_Draco stared at her for a moment, the silence felt like it had stretched on for hours. When Draco realised no one else was coming forward, he slowly lowered his wand and nodded in the direction of the book. “How can that help me?”_

_Hermione looked at the clutter around them and cleared a spot-on top of an old chest of drawers. She flipped the book open to a marked page and pointed for him to see. “I recognised the cabinet from an old history book I read. But I had no idea what it did. To operate it, you must make sure its reciprocal wants to work with it. Meaning, assuming you know about the other cabinet, they need to be friends.” Hermione shrugged. “Linked harmoniously, if you will.”_

_Draco looked from the book to her and back again. “Why? Why would you help me? Do you even know what I am doing?”_

_Hermione could hear the difference in his voice. Usually he’d have a nasty drawl do his voice almost venomous. But all Hermione could hear now was desperation. “You look like you need help.” Without thinking, Hermione reached up and moved his hair out of his eyes and gently cupped his cheek. “We all need help at some point.”_

_Draco didn’t move away, he didn’t hurl insults at her, he didn’t push her away. Instead, he took her hand in his. From there, everything felt as if things were moving in slow motion. Draco’s eyes filled with tears again and to her surprise, he inched closer to her. Hermione couldn’t breathe, she swore her heart had stopped beating. His lips lightly brushed hers and she accepted them, welcoming his featherlight kisses._

_Draco moved his arms around her waist, drawing her close as his tongue licked at her lips, asking her to open her mouth. Hermione’s lips parted, she closed her eyes as she felt his tongue seek out hers in slow, rhythmic movements. She never in her wildest dreams imagined a kiss could be so overwhelming, but it really was. She felt as if Draco was seeking solace in her, finding peace at last._

Opening her eyes, Hermione came back to the present. “I didn’t plan on kissing him, I didn’t even know I wanted him to kiss me. But once he was, I felt completely consumed by him.”

Ginny nodded but Hermione couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “Obviously more happened than just a kiss?”

“Yes. We spent a lot of time just talking. Inside that room we weren’t enemies. It was like we had been friends forever.” Hermione let out a sigh. “I lost myself in that room. The more we talked, the more I wanted to help him and the more I wanted to be with him. But we both knew what was coming and we both knew what we shared had to come to an end at some point.” She looked desperately at Ginny. “But why did I never ask him about after the war?”

“Did Draco not leave you with any understanding?”

Hermione shook her head. “He promised me that he’d try and not hurt anyone. That was the last time we spoke.”

“Hermione,” Ginny stood up and began pacing in the small space she had. “Harry told me about some of what happened when you were away looking for Horcruxes. Did Draco not even try to stop…”

Hermione knew exactly what she meant. “I couldn’t look at him. But he tried to help us as much as he could.” Hermione said as she remembered how Draco tried not to identify Harry. “Draco still had a role to play, to keep himself and his family safe.”

Ginny stopped pacing and sat down beside Hermione again. “I don’t fully understand and I’m not sure I want to. But how can I help you right now?”

“I need to see him, to talk to him.” Hermione said without hesitation. “I feel so lost not knowing if what we shared was real or not. I never would have risked everything for no reason, Ginny. I swear he felt for me as much as I felt for him. But we’ve been separated for so long and with everything that has happened, I just need to talk to him. To know once and for all.”

Ginny smiled. “I can help you with that.”


End file.
